If you read my last post, you know I was trying to do something…well that something is quitting smoking.
I’ve tried numerous times to quit, but many have been a couple day attempts or hours even. It’s been over 4 weeks now. I’ve just been telling myself, over and over, smoking is not an option.
Hope you are all doing well.
Tear jerker…
And something on the lighter side…
Day 1, it’s just time, June 30 2008. 751pm. This is it, no more. Am I sure. Not really. Not sure at all. I probably can’t do it more than a couple days at the most. I mean it’s only the 14th time I’ve tried, but hey everytime I try, it’s one more attempt that could work right? 832pm, my leg just can’t stop shaking. I need to keep my mind occupied…Oh thank god I have a rental movie, Gridiron Gang, have you guys seen it? It wasn’t bad. Glad I had it, because it helped me get through day 1. Day 2. It’s bright and early, glad I have a few things to do before I start working…take Brownie out, feed him breakfast, wash up, just enough to keep my mind occupied. 723am, Man, this feeling…just like I can’t control myself…my mind on 50 different things at once…My fingers are curling up, and I can’t get my mind off of the urge. Need to browse the web. ARGGGGH. It’s not an option. 734am, the feeling is a little under control now. Phew. 1120am, errr there my fingers go again. I can’t stop shaking my damn leg. I keep wanting to do something…it’s like my 8th piece of gum, my mouth is starting to hurt. 238pm, alright I need to do something. I’m getting some ice cream. A large ice cream, oreo, strawberries, blueberries mixins with cheesecake ice cream. Brownie don’t u dare. 420pm, ARGH. 632pm, ARGGHHH. This shit SUCKS. When I’m sitting there, my muscles in my arm twitch. They have this feeling like I’m lifting something but all I’m doing is sitting there. No I will not give in. Surprisingly, I slept early.Day 3. Getting up is really easy for some odd reason. Maybe my body thinks I’m about to give in. 918am, I think I’ve just about seen every site there is. I’ve literrally viewed the same sites over and over. I just can’t take it, but IT’S NOT AN OPTION. 1159pm lunch! I had microwave pasta dish, wasn’t bad with some tabasco, some left over rice and sausages. Still need something to keep my mind occupied. Gum. Good. My hands still curl and the mind still wanders. My legs are still shaking. Day 4. 858am The urges have died down considerably. But it’s still there. Today is day 4 and my legs are still shaking, but instead of browsing sites, I’m writing this. IT’S NOT AN OPTION.